"The Grass is Always Greener..."

Snow! Snow! Snow! and more Snow!  Now we have to much of that cold, fluffy white stuff, but soon enough we will be missing it as we take in the bright, humid, hot, perpetual summer of Orange Walk, Belize. 

With just a little over 4 months to go we have raised 12% of the needed funds for our adventure/mission.  Please continue to pray for us as God continues to provide.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DAwAIpkBZMU

Wow!

I could actually write wow a number of times and probably still not be able to describe how impressed I am.

I fasted for a month for a team leader of our MST.  I had this ambiguous person in mind  with all of my perfect characteristics added in...And when someone answered the call I was a bit disappointed.  It was disappointment about me, and not about them, or God's call.

I had ideas about what I thought should happen, and what I wanted this person to be.

Last night though I was blown away.

Eric Hackman after much prayer, and talk with us agreed to be our team leader.

I have to say I am honestly embarrassed about my reluctance and judgment.  Everything about going to Belize has been a learning experience for me.

Eric was everything I prayed for and honestly went above and beyond.  I am so thankful for what God decided to do.

Please join us in praying:

for Eric and the rest of our hard working MST
for us in our journey at home preparing
and as we share our vision with others
for our children in this transition
for our finances

Thanks!!!
Spring

I give up

Okay okay I admit it. I've been feeling discouraged.

Life seems big and unmanageable right now.

People have failed my expectations

I have failed my expectations

there is so much to do: with missions, with life, with ministry. Sometimes I feel like it's unending.

Today after feeling very disappointed, I was thinking I give up!  Really this isn't what "i signed up for"

then I realized: I HAD signed up for this. I have been asking God to do above my (our) abilities then try to fulfill them on my own.  How silly!

So today I give up.

20 Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, 21to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen. Eph 3:20-21

Our Mission Vision

with eager anticipation...

It took Nathanael and Glenn a lot of work to print out our letter and brochure. Those are hot off the press and are being handed out/sent in the mail.  There are butterflies in my stomach thinking: this could really happen!

The exciting part is seeing what God will do!  I know on our own strength we just can't come up with the funding needed for our trip. It is exciting and stretching to trust God. That is an "easy" thing to say in this part, the beginning of our journey. Pastor Anita challenged us to pray for that which only God can do. For us, the goal of leaving this summer seems daunting. (in more ways than just getting funding too!)

I have been spending the last month fasting and praying about Belize: for our journey and that God would go before us.  There is much to be done in the physical but the spiritual is also very very important.  Some of the strongholds that I see especially involving men and the sex trade.. I just don't know how to overcome but by prayer and fasting.

Even though I'm not physically there I am working on my Circle of Prayer, surrounding where we will be praying with prayers.  Thus I anticipate the journey: the building of supporters, the joy of seeing people walk with us, and the excitement of seeing what God will do.

What Do I have to offer?

I have been struggling with the fact that going on missions for 2 years really changes so many lives. We are choosing to leave friends and family who we hold dear.  Our children will be forever "third culture kids" or at least they will be this for a while. I also expect God to change me and those around me.

The change is profound and impacting.  Sometimes I question why am I doing this?

Today I was reminded of an experience I had in Mexico, about 16 years ago.  I was in YES at the time and visiting a very poor family. They were probably the most poor I had known in my short life. Their entire home was in one room.

I was really impacted. What could I give them?  I couldn't give them a better life, or a different house. I didn't have the ability even to give them more food. As I contemplated and prayed over this. I came up with the only answer that made sense.

Jesus. He is really all I have to offer. I can train people, give them language, help them have a better birth; but in the end none of it matters.

I get so caught up in this world. I forget I am an "alien and stranger" here.  There are so many needs and wants that in the end don't matter.

Today I choose to remember that Jesus is all I have to offer and all I need.

coming to my limits.. to allow God to be God

One of the hardest things for me about joining EMM has been the budget. Both Nathanael and I have been blessed with jobs that we are able to work more or less dependent on family needs, or dare I say it wants.

The process of the budget and approval has gone through. It is finalized. As I said before the amount in the budget, the bulk of it was determined by EMM.  For me it was difficult to look at it and say this is it, this is the limit and it won't change for 2 years. It is hard to have someone else tell you more or less the way to spend your money.

I am thankful. God is stretching me.  This budget is actually more than I think I need, but I have no idea what a budget should look like while living in Belize, or even what our daily spending will look like. We still don't have a team leader, there are 2 other positions that need to be filled on our MST. I am being called in a greater way to prayer and trust.

I realize that to see God work, I have to get to the end of "me". Awhile ago I came to the conclusion that I truly function at a "works mentality" with God at times.  If I haven't completed what I think should get done, prayed the way I think it should look like, then perhaps I'm not of any worth, or God won't listen to me.

This wrong God wants us to pray with an attitude of expectation, allowing him the divinity that he deserves. If I am only praying for things that I can do, I am not trusting that God is able to fill  my every need. I don't have the confidence that he is who he says he  is.

I am thankful to  him for stretching me. I can't wait to see the things he will do even in this part of the process.