Moving...

 Much has already been said about us moving and the dates of moving. Today I am addressing my emotions and the actual move.  Stick with me or move on (pun intended).  

One of our first photos ever in Spanish Lookout at Western Dairies, a local "fast food" type restaurant. Circa 2018:Selah and Phyllis Groff

To be honest we knew that the move to Spanish Lookout had much to do with what was vital for our emotional health: be in a community with more support. Leaving Orange Walk after 5 years was very difficult, some of this transition happened while we were in the US.  

This is when Jesus Deaf Church first started coming to Fountain of Life church. There is our house in the background!We didn't know it would be ours then (2018)

Recently we had visitors. The person, unfamiliar to our journey asked when we moved. I had to explain we moved into our current house on September 15.  That however preceded a move across countries in July which preceded a quick leave in June of 2021 where things were simply stuffed into a trailer.  All of that to say this move has been drawn out and difficult. We finally feel as though we are at the end of a long  period of multiple transitions. 

First day of school in Spanish Lookout around our kitchen table

This past year and a half was probably double what any of my transitions have been in the past. I felt like I spent too much time not giving myself the space and grace to take in the change. In all of this, I am finally beginning to have a place of feeling "home" when we pull up.  It is gracious and wonderful. We are still finding our feet as we take up new ministry and continue with the "old'.

Our first official night in the house, September 15 2022: also Selah's birthday. Celebrated with the Groff family

One thing that has hit me from the enemy is a feeling of failure. We moved as a family because of our emotional needs. Did we abandon those who also need a touch of Jesus?  Nathanael was one to give me a huge perspective.  He reminded me that moving and having a ministry "come to it's own" is an accomplishment.  It is also a process of entrusting. I am NOT the savior of Jesus Deaf Church. (Neither is Nathanael) Jesus is. I need to trust that He has the best in mind: for our family, for our greater Deaf family in Orange Walk, and for our new brothers and sisters in Spanish Lookout.  

they have built dorm type rooms under our house which was previously on stilts. The work is almost completed

While we are still in the same country, about a 2.5 hour drive from Orange Walk, we are in a totally different culture.  People even speak a different language at times. There are spaces of feeling like we "should" know what to do but we just don't.  It's humbling!  We live directly behind Fountain of Life church. Yes we are again blessed to have church literally outside of our door!  We are surrounded by farmland, cows new smells and sounds. Who would have imagined being able to hear howler monkeys from their porch?  We are ever impressed by the green parrots that make Spanish Lookout home.  My favorite thing is to have less light pollution. We can see so many stars at night!!! 

I like to walk with the dogs down the path behind our house

While we are unpacked, I still have some organizing to do. I hope to do a short "tour" of our home by February.  Be look on the lookout on Facebook!

We have been blessed to find community here. The girls went to the Christmas youth banquet, were able to invite friends, and Nathanael and I participated by serving. It was a lovely time

Thank you for following us on this journey.

Spring

Alien and Stranger

Just a few days ago a good friend of mine posted a picture on her Instagram.  It was of tents in an area similar to the outside of a mall.


I was hit with the reality of the millions of people today who are more than homeless. They have left their homes, communities, almost all of their stuff. All of this so their families can be safe.

We are settling in and getting used to things we lived without for the past year.  I am enjoying the choices I have when I grocery store. There are many viable, healthy options that don't require much preparation. I for one am loving eating peppers of different colors, tomatoes off the vine (thanks Mom!!) , and going to Swann's for 50 cent frozen pizza. (Not to mention hot showers any time I want)



















So many people ask when we are going back. (Or they ask if we've left yet). Not having a timeline leaves me personally feeling unsettled. I wasn't sure I wanted to leave my convenience, my friends, my family, my comfortable bed.  I have been there done that had the chips and dip to prove it. I missed this life and this culture. I am thoroughly immersing myself in "home".

And yet? Seeing that picture calls me again to something different.

I have a good friend who is adding to her family in two ways in the next year; through both, birth of a biological child, and adoption. Some people look at her and wonder why. When all is completed, her family will have 11 children. When I talked to her, I was reminded of my own call. The passion she has for taking special needs children out of an orphanage setting kindled afire my passion for the "more" in my own life.

What does it really mean to live as the Bible calls us, as an alien and stranger? I could choose to live as a refugee. I could choose to not embrace the conveniences here that I really enjoy.  I honestly believe that for us it is comes down to embracing fully where God has us. We won't hold too dearly to our orange peppers, but we will eat and enjoy them here. I will choose to see those around me who aren't sure where they can find home.

As we look toward fundraising and leaving, I remember that my "home" is mobile. Being in the center of his will is the best place to be. I may find myself feeling like a stranger. I may feel comfortable.