As a someone who is a "Martha" by nature, I tend to measure my worth in what I do. I can tell you I know this isn't healthy. I can tell you that is not how God sees me. I can also tell you that getting my "to do" list interrupted is a troublesome thing for me.
God and I we're working on this. First he moved me to a country where I feel lonely; and a culture where things move at a much slower pace (this is good for me!).
When I looked at the word for today, I was baffled. My world in many ways has gotten much smaller, not enlarged. We work with a people group that is marginalized but isn't necessarily "all around" me. It is a people group that is in every corner of the world, yet largely remains unreached.
My husband had a job and many opportunities the minute he touched foreign soil. Me? I still have to get my nursing licence in order to apply to volunteer. We are still unsure of how this will work with Nathanael's responsibilities and calling.
I have enlarged my heart, for the people around me; for the opportunities that we would love to see happen. I have enlarged the vision for what I would love to do with my responsibilities.
At the same time, the pace, the home responsibilities (which simply take longer in a developing country) are teaching me to try to live every moment with God. Really the dependance on him is what is enlarging my heart..
for a country that is not my own
for a people who are different than me
for the climate that means you are constantly sweaty
for the alone time I get when I hang wash on the roof
for the fact that I have the privilege of being with my children all of the time..
Really largeness and smallness are relative, but I pray God would enlarge the places in my heart that need it; giving me the focus on the important things.